Are you Working with a Narcissist?

Narcissism is an interesting trait, and is a term we often use colloquially when referring to people who are self-obsessed. From a Psychological perspective however, the Narcissist is rather more complex. I have spent years in academic study and research looking at the personality trait of Narcissism and find them truly interesting characters and there is a fair few of them about - there are varying estimates suggesting between 1 - 6% of the population have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Having spent years researching and interviewing Narcissists, I know just where to find them and what the tell-tale signs are. I know that you too may be impacted by these personalities because whenever I deliver one of my talks on the Dark Triad (Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy) I am bombarded with people saying they work with a Narcissist and telling me that they have an impact on their working lives and asking how to deal with them. And I am not surprised as they are extraordinarily toxic to work for and to work with. To such an extent, I am even paid by some organisations simply to keep their Dark Triad personalities under control as they can be so disruptive in the workplace.

In this article I’m going to explain a little about how the Narcissism manifests itself in the workplace.

·     A narcissist will happily be aggressive or manipulative in the workplace but if you ever retaliate, they will play the victim and deny wrongdoing and dismiss your emotional responses to their behaviour.  

·     They will be easily angered if questioned, undermined, overlooked or proven wrong.

·     They are master manipulators and display mood swings. They will be incredibly charming when they want something yet can be aggressive, rude, and insulting if you’re surplus to their requirements or if they feel you don’t admire/respect them.

·     They believe that they are superior and “special” and are only understood by other “special” people. This will lead to condescending behaviour towards others who they believe are not “special”.

·     They don’t care about anybody else; they will only ever do what is necessary to meet their needs. There is little to no empathy as the Narcissist is trapped behind their false persona which is their primary concern.

·     You will watch them schmooze their way to the top and they will manipulate wherever necessary even though you may not believe how easily people in positions of power seem to like them.

You can probably see how confusing and difficult these people are to work with and they are not merely arrogant. If you’ve been working with people who blow hot and cold and seem to emotionally exhaust and drain you and potentially even “gaslight” you then you may be working with a Narcissist.

In my next article I will discuss how to work with these characters, so they don’t have a negative effect on your wellbeing and work life.